Heroism goes two ways.

It's so obvious to me why she acts out like she does. I really want to save her, be the hero. The only problem is, I don't think she wants to be saved.

Pondering by the pond.

It's funny how everything and nothing can be one and the same. Perhaps love is habit, it just becomes routine to have these feelings.


You sure as hell aren't earning them.

modern art.

Incinerating the Mona Lisa, leveling the Sistine Chapel and tearing apart the Guernica would put a huge smile on my face, knowing that I'd freed something beautiful.

Give me something to like.

I'm not entirely sure I can handle this stuff. I force my eyes into tunnel vision in a hope to ignore all the negative things you so openly wave in front of my face. I look through to the beautiful parts of you; of us.

The vision is getting very, very narrow, and once it closes completely, I won't see anything... not even the beautiful parts.

That is when I'll walk away.

NV.

If you're reading this, than its probably for you.
I'm grateful, for you and your friendship.

Let's sail blindly, together... into the vast ocean called 'life'.

blindfold.

We look but we do not see.

Who really takes the time to look at the stars, and think of what they are... what they represent. They're like people in our lives, shining brightly... but we don't notice, no matter how bright they shine, it won't matter if we don't look at the sky to see.

Even if we do, who's to say we'll notice that one specific star, it will just blend in with the rest, not appearing to be special at all.

It is special, they are all special... but it doesn't matter. If stars aren't noticed, what hope do we have?

Nothing matters.
Not society, not religion, not you and definitely not me...

Tear on.

When you reach the peak of anything, you have to know it goes down on the other side... and you have to accept that, not fear it.

Together

We're exactly where we need to be.

This blog is titled.

Nothing is every truly good enough, perfection is just an opinion and the cold and the black abyssal nothingness stretches on forever.

My Pursuit.

Longing, waiting, wanting and hoping.
Disappointment has greeted me at every step of the way.

It's a tunnel, it's cold and black and full of unknown and nothingness. Its cramped, it adds pressure to the situation, its hard to breathe, difficult to keep the end in sight through the cold and the black. There is only two directions, forward... to something that could be amazing, and backward... slinking back to a dark place that no one ever wants to be. At least the reverse path leads to something I know exists, the forward... to something I only dream of, happiness.

undesirable; unavoidable

It's gone from feeling 'trapped' in a place that we didn't want to be.
To being literally trapped in a place we don't recognize as being a trap... yet.

We're all in the work force, unknowing slaves to consumerism and materialistic values, all the things we said we'd never be are happening one at a time and there is nothing we can do.

We will lose our grand ideas, our plans to make the world a better place. Like water, all the potential to be any shape possible, and yet after time, it stops thrashing. It sits idle in whatever container you put it in.

A simple bowl shaped pool, slowly turning to ice.

We are the next generation of parents and guardians and politicians, scientists... we're the future in every industry. As amazing as this sounds, we will all settle to boring people we said we'd never be... and fill the roles of all those failures telling the next generation they can be whatever they want to be.

Lies and utter deception, we're limited by far too much personally, and socially.

Cute joke though.

Car Chase

I'm strapped in, it's too late to bail,
I'll follow this as far as it goes.

Halted Progression.

We've met outside, walked over to the door.
Had everything ready, hand on the handle.
Turned it, and stepped into the doorway,
and here we stand dormant...
waiting... to take the next step.

Sacrificial Development.

Life is lights.
We need it to function, but too bright and we can't.
It seems we all hold a candle, our own flame that symbolizes our life. For ours to shine brighter, we need to stand alone, away from the other flames and put those out around us to make ours brighter and more noticeable. Only through crushing the hopes and dreams of others can our own be truly achieved.

Struggle

Monotony is all consuming and completely unavoidable, like running over quicksand.

I believe in her.

Trust isn't all that important at all really. The entire concept is fake.

Trusting someone doesn't change what they do or how they act, it simply an understanding of how likely they are to do things that would hurt you, its just another label.

Having trust in someone doesn't actually mean anything... yet it means so much to all of us.

Desire

If I were blind, I'd miss your face.
If I were deaf, I'd miss your voice.
If I were numb, I'd miss your skin.

And even though none of these apply,
I still miss you as if they did.

Choice.

We all have so many opportunities we do not always see and opportunity cost plays a huge factor in our lives.

If we take one thing we miss out on an almost infinite amount of others with that one choice. Is what you get really worth what you lose?

It has to be justifiable, you HAVE to make a choice. I'm sure if we could, we'd all just coast along waiting for external factors to make up our minds for us, but it's not realistic or efficient chronologically.

Sometimes there is a split decision with two things you want, in most cases you don't pick one in fear of losing the other and end up losing both.

Our lives can change so significantly by one or two simple choices that could have gone either way...

The possibilities scare me.

TAAOSDLCWRBARHSAS represent.

She's my excuse to wear a smile
on this, the brightest day in a while.

Lament.

I still keep the left side of the bed for you. It's yours whenever you want it.


Talk to me...

The sweetest of dreams.

There was truth in the stories I told you.
It's not too late... I still want this, do you?

Muddled

Stop. You cant write a book with one chapter. Close that chapter, that part of your life... and open the new one.

You cant say I'm "perfect" and still make me feel like second best.

sadface.

I'm not sure if anyone can beat this... this feeling. The one that makes you feel useless and unworthy of everything you've ever wanted, and ever gotten. The one that makes your eyes hurt and feel gritty. The one that moistens your cheek as you stare into something beautiful and see absolutely nothing.

"Nothing." The word is amazing in how descriptive it can be... when it describes the absence of any perceivable substance known to mankind.

It is a little pathetic how mankind can't live with the things it cant understand. Why do we need everything labeled, explained and deconstructed?

We can spend our lives letting the world around us tell us who we are, or we can decide for ourselves.

Unreal

Recently, I've begun to notice that the unreal is more powerful than the real.
Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangibles, ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last.
Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die.
But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.
If you can change the way people think, the way they see themselves and the way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives.

That’s the only lasting thing you can create...
Maybe there is strength in fragility?

.........

And the study begins....

Hysteria

People don't want their lives fixed.
No one wants all their problems solved, their dramas, their distractions, their messed cleaned up.

Because what would they have left?
Just the big scary unknown...

Maybe because hysteria is really only possible with an audience.

Grawr.

It seems that some people are under the impression that life is a game, or a tv show. Our generation idolizes things that probably shouldn't be idolized at all... Like One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl (etc). The amount of people that base their fundamental expectations of life and relationships on these TV shows is pretty scary.

^_^

You can't blame a girl from trying, even though she keeps on lying more and more.

Reflection

With people all around me, I feel alone...

:/

Epistemology

What is knowledge?
Why do we know things?
Why do we know what we know?

Investigation leads you into a world of empiricism, rationalism, constructivism and even transcendental idealism.

Don't worry, those words never make sense to anyone the first time they look at them.

Pretty keen to see how deep the rabbit hole goes though...

Rebirth

These last few weeks have shown me old people in a new way.
I have so much more respect for those who respect me, and none for people who don't.

This is the new me, and I like it.

Let not light see my black and deep desires.

Left Behind

I will now bring a new meaning to the word alone.
Endless nights of dreaming of life,
and the days we should have spent here.

Misplacement

I just wish everything could work out the way I wanted it too.
It's a pretty selfish thing to wish for, but i cant see why it wouldn't be perfect.

Perfection, unfortunately is a point of view; more of an opinion than a state.
But nonetheless, It would be perfect in my eyes, but it doesn't feel like I even have the opportunity, the chance, the 'fair-go' we're all supposed to get in every facet of our lives?

Something doesn't fit, and I cant work out if its me or the puzzle.
I guess I'm looking for some answers in a world that answers none of them at all, but I'm not giving up.

Fragility

Love is fickle, and fragile.

But if it were any other way, It wouldn't work at all. In order to love, you need to make yourself vulnerable and trust that the other person wont hurt you.

But they will, because it's inevitable.
Even if they don't cheat, or lose interest... they can bring you pain by moving away, or even dying.

It is part of the process, the pain is the counter balance to the love and affection we all want and need in our lives.
They come hand in hand, and never apart.

Avoiding one, means avoiding the other.

Come out of the cave, let me love you.

Sonnet.

I sit here alone all day,
Feeling numb and broken,
There's so much to say,
yet, so much left unspoken.

Staring deep into the glass,
Empty smiles fill my reflection,
All those moments come to pass,
cant you feel the connection?

I've made the climb,
now I'll make the fall,
I've lost so much time,
To gain nothing at all.

I guess this is how it is,
Another try, another miss?

Empathy

I'm a strange person.
I'm like a puddle, however deep I may be will never be known because your point of view will always only see its reflection; never piercing through.

What I see in you, you will see in me.
If your sad, I'll cry with you.
If your mad, I'll scream with you.
If your happy, I'll smile with you.


I am Jack's empathetic reflection.

Lost in thought.

I've been over-thinking alot

Its a bad bad bad thing, it makes little meaningless things that people do into seemingly life changing events. Its starting to feel like I'm digging a hole, a really big hole.

And I get so far down thinking about something, that I cant remember which way was up.

Tip of my tounge.

I'm not the one that you want,
I'll only let you down.

You probably wouldn't realize this was about you if you read it.
Sorry for wasting your time.

^_^

Little deeds of kindness,
Little words of love,
Make our pleasant earth below
Like the heaven above.

Original?

I don't love you because you're beautiful,
or because you're caring, or because you give me butterflies.
Not even because you make me smile, or take my breath away.
Not because you can level me with your eyes.
I love you because these things make up who YOU are.

And I love YOU.

^_^

Waste.

Isn't life grand when you come to the realization that you just wasted a large portion of your time and energy in pursuit of something you should have stopped chasing long ago?

Well needless to say, i chased.
And i found depression instead of what/who i was after.

Depression seems to be a cold dark cave where your mind goes when it cant comprehend the complexities of emotion.

I think I can leave this cave now, I think I've finally reset the system. I think I can move on.

I hope I can.

Rachel

^_^

She's pretty cool aye.

I haven't know her for long, but im looking forward to more epic conversations about me dying in a car crash.
Even though she might have a sloth for a brother, she still manages to avoid his work ethic, and has seemingly become the brains in the family. I hope she can keep it up, and be a FREE THINKER.

Because that's one of the most important things in life.

Its sorta cute and cliche how we started talking.
Turns out, I'm lucky enough to get a locker beside hers.
Locker buddy for life? :P

I guess shes just cool, and always brings something fresh and uplifting to a conversation.

Absolute babe.

Trust

The definition of trust is to have confidence in something.

And when people feel the need to place that confidence in others, it should be respected.

I myself, have broken someones trust recently and I feel horrible for doing so. Stuff has been pretty messed up lately, and I've had a lot of trouble sleeping and can hardly remember anything that's happened this week.

That sounds like an excuse, but I'm not making one.
I know what i did was wrong. And I should have lost this persons trust.

But luckily, she is an amazing friend and has completely forgiven me.
I'll make it up though.. you just wait.

Gifted

Being 'gifted' is not a term I agree with.

I feel you earn a lot of what you are. Little of it is luck, a blessing, or a gift.
And you've become the person you are by events, experiences and people that have shaped your life.

Not because someone has 'gifted' you a quality, like confidence.

Experiences build character.

Balance

People use the term balance to refer to a stability, equality.
But balance is often a perspective.
Take war vs peace for example.

Sure, we'd love to have peace. Because we have very little to fight for.

From the opposite side of the see-saw, there is a different perspective. That of someone who has something to fight for. Such as rights, humane treatment, food, education, a chance. Opportunities that we are given. They must take, and fight for.

Balance isn't all that balanced at all- Ironic isn't it?

Dilemma's

It seems the tighter i try to hold onto something, the faster it slips away.
But not holding onto things, just letting them go isnt a logical solution.

So what is the solution to this rediculousness?

I'll tell you one day.

It's a work in progress <3

Paranoia

Power went out tonight.
Perfect timing for those people who have 3-4 assignments due tomorrow.
Whats with people leaving things to the last minute anyway?
Probably a lack of motivation.
There is less and less external motivation these days.

Maybe its because they are getting forced to 'think freely'.
And the self motivation is lost to a degree, only thing pushing us forward is fear.
The fear of failure outweighs the potential rewards of success.

If we are truly to be a free thinking generation, than what are we being forced to think like a 'free thinker'.
Maybe the term isn't all that free at all.
Maybe we're being positioned to position ourselves to identify the way we are being positioned to feel.
When we are subliminally being controlled anyway.

Call me paranoid, I'll call you ignorant.